MOH. It’s a loaded title that comes with many important duties like adjusting your train for every photo, taking that bouquet off your hands, and yes, lifting your dress when it’s time to escape to the bathroom after too many martinis. When it comes time to decide who’s going to stand by your side, chances are your bestie might be expecting that phone call or OTT proposal. So, here’s how to let her down easy when she’s going to be a bridesmaid and never a MOH for your big day.

If you’re picking a sibling or relative, she’ll probably 100% understand. Sisters are pretty much handed the MOH title, unless you had a massive fallout. To make your friend feel more involved, perhaps offer the idea of co-planning the bachelorette—we’re sure your sister would love a helping hand.

If you’re picking a childhood best friend, it gets a bit tricky. The battle of the childhood bestie versus “new” bestie might come to a head—try splitting up the duties between the two. Again, throw out the idea of co-hosting the BATCH or maybe one hosts the shower while the other takes the lead on the BATCH. Remember, you’ll want ALL of the help on your big day regardless of who the MOH is, so be sure to reassure her that everyone’s help is appreciated.

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If she’s just not fit for the job, express to her how all of the bridesmaids and friends are equally as important to you. Maybe you don’t have a MOH at all if you’re miss social butterfly and can’t pick one.  Don’t forget this is YOUR day and you’re allowed to call the shots. Obviously be sympathetic and remember she is just trying to help and wants to be involved. You’ve got this, brides!

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