Last week, we asked the BATCH Fam (you lovely, super responsive people) what you thought about changing or keeping your last names after gettin’ hitched.
As expected, your responses were gems—diverse, thoughtful, insightful nuggets of wisdom, with key takeaways that add a ton of value to the BATCH community. Thank you!
At a high level, most of y’all (86%) are planning to switch your last names to your future spouse’s. (568 voted for changing; 95 for keeping). Statistically, that’s pretty much on par with the national average. But your reasons for why you’re changing (or not) stood out to us and, we think, contribute uniquely to this larger conversation.
What follows is a deep dive into why the women of the BATCH Fam are either changing or keeping your last names once you tie the knot.
Reasons why you’re changing your last name
1. You’re changing your name for the kids (and to avoid confusion)
Many of you want to share the same last name as your future spouse because you want to have the same last name as your kids. In fact, this was overwhelmingly cited as the main reason for changing.
Taking on the same last name, you believe, shows the kids that you’re one cohesive team. You want to present a united front, and that takes priority for you and your family.
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2. You’re not crazy about your own last name...
Pitts?
Sharts?
Doom?
Weiner?
Wigglesworth?
Yep, totally get it. Some of you aren’t in love with your own last names (and may, in fact, actively resent it). You’ll let your brother proudly continue the ‘Richard Wanket’ family legacy.
On top of that, your future partner might happen to be in possession of a positively dope surname (read: Dumbledore, Lovegood, Winfrey, Gandhi, Shakespeare, Parks, King, Queen, Einstein). You couldn’t shed your clunky, hard-to-pronounce, awkwardly-sexual-sounding name soon enough.
Quote from the Fam:
3. Your fiance is traditional
...and you know that taking his last name would make him incredibly proud and happy.
Moreover, you might be more traditional, too. You’re proud and excited to take on a new last name to signify the start of your new family.
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4. It could make life less complicated
Having the same name as your husband and kids could make things easier in the long run: traveling, corresponding with schools, legal documentation, and even just interacting with other parents and families.
Quote from the Fam:
BATCH Fam thoughts on keeping your last name.
1. You’re keeping your name because it’s your name and you love your name
Clear enough. Just because you’re getting married, you don’t think that should change your named identity. You are still you, and you are keeping the same name you’ve had your whole life.
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2. You have an amazing last name (see above) and bae’s surname is ‘Winklenips’
Your last name is awesome and you want to keep it.
Moreover, it’s also about continuing your family’s legacy. Your name is the last thing some of you received from your dad and you want to honor and preserve it.
Quote from the Fam:
3. You’ve established yourself as a professional and your colleagues, patients, and clients know you by your name
You’ve worked your ass off for your professional title, and you’re going to keep it associated with your name, especially if switching it entails changing all of your licenses.
Quote from the Fam:
4. “Because it’s f*ckin’ 2020!”
We won’t water this down with an explanation. The quote says it all.
Quote from the Fam:
5. It’s just too much work.
You don’t wanna deal with the bureaucratic headaches that come with changing your name: e.g.: changing your social security card; updating your driver’s license; switching your bank account; updating all of your legal documents; etc.
Quote from the Fam:
6. You’re keeping your maiden name as your middle name
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7. It’s part of your tradition to keep your last name
In countries like Malaysia, Korea, Spain, and Chile, it’s local custom for women to keep their maiden names. Taking a husband’s surname, in fact, is a relatively foregin concept in these countries.
Quote from the Fam:
8. You’re hyphenating your name (or combining your last names)
This is a compromise some of you really like. It allows you to keep your name while also accepting your spouse’s. Among the many reasons to do this, maintaining your professional identity tops the list.
Quote from the Fam:
9. “My husband to be is taking my last name!”
The main takeaway from these responses?
To each their own! Ultimately it comes down to your unique relationship with marriage, family, and, most importantly, your future spouse and partner for life!
Quote from the Fam:
We wholeheartedly agree!
Love,
Team Batch
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